18 Classic Chief Wiggum Lines From The Simpsons

With the rising concern of actual police procedure and oversight in America, let’s take a moment and look at one officer who EVERYONE can agree should have been fired from the force a long time ago because of his stupid police practices, corrupt and being racist at time. Very relatable character.

Commissioner Clarence “Clancy” Wiggum is the head of police of the Springfield Police Department. He is an extreme stereotype of a lazy police officer (copper). Comissionner Wiggum is morbidly obese, straightforwardly indecent, ignorant, incompetent, and really lazy, with a fondness for doughnuts and “Chintzy Pop” (a fictional popcorn that is based on Jiffy Pop). While he pretentiously feigns authority, he has little regard for individual rights or even public safety. He is disturbingly uninformed and flaunts his power, albeit with good intentions most of the time. He is part Irish. His pants are size 56.

He, along with the rest of Springfield’s government and Springfield police force, is also corrupt, having asked for or taken bribes several times. An example of this is he can skip any crime if he is bribed, like being notably solicited Troy McClure and Homer Simpson for bribes in exchange for “looking the other way” to their criminal activities. When Bart bribed him with stolen wedding presents, he told him to read his badge and, at the bottom of the badge, was the caption “Cash Bribes only”. He has a strained friendship with Mayor Quimby, as the two men vie to have control over the city, which once lead to a serious argument in regards of who takes over during an emergency on the Monorail crisis. Wiggum claims to have compromising photographs of the mayor. Mayor Quimby argued back saying, “you don’t scare me; that could be anyone’s ass”! This strained relationship may help to explain why Commissioner Wiggum has retained his job, despite his inability to do any of his duties.

He is often assisted by his more intelligent (but still quite lazy and often rather cocky) “top cops” Eddie and Lou. He is completely ignorant of Springfield’s laws, makes up his own laws on the fly and often quotes sayings from the police handbook which cannot actually be found in the book (“like the book says, if you can’t beat them, join them”). According to The Bart Book, Clancy is also in the SPD Bomb Squad, which is in fact just him in a hockey mask.