With great power comes great tweets and you have to read this new dose of cool tweets.
Does Bruce Wayne's parents die in the new Spider-Man movie?
— Nick Mundy (@dickfundy) June 25, 2017
I was quite flexible when I was younger. The kids at school used to call me Spider-Man because my uncle was murdered.
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) April 21, 2017
I like to think that every time a new guy gets cast as Spiderman, there is a sad little spider with a dream dragging his headshot home again
— Eliza Skinner (@elizaskinner) June 14, 2017
Spiderman flicks his wrist the wrong way and blood shoots out.
– blood wrist spider
– blood webbing
– "blood webbing"
— vineyille (@vineyille) February 19, 2016
has any one ever noticed that the good spiderman movies are the ones for adults, and the bad spiderman movies are the ones for children
— wint (@dril) January 28, 2016
If comic books were realistic, Black Widow would've fucked Spider-Man and then eaten him.
— OhNoSheTwitnt 🏳️🌈 (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 1, 2016
Soon, playing Spiderman will be like getting called to serve on jury duty.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) June 4, 2017
Parker! Why is Facebook's fake news algorithm blacklisting all your stories about Spiderman? Get me some real stories about this Spiderman!!
— James Walkthrough (@cashbonez) November 17, 2016
MARY JANE: daddy, what's my name from?
ME: it's from the comic Spider-Man
420BLAZEIT: and mine?
ME: umm [sweating] also Spider-Man
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) April 20, 2017
They really fucked up the Spiderman costume design in Civil War, look at this, he looks like a goddamn mailbox pic.twitter.com/Cg7quEP2su
— Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) April 27, 2016
UNCLE BEN: Peter, with great power comes…your mom!!!
PETER PARKER: Why do you always do that, you know I'm an orphan
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) January 29, 2016
This can’t go on. If you keep nagging me about unimportant Spiderman facts, I’m going to leave you.
THERE’S A HYPHEN IN IT GOD DAMMIT
— R.E.W. (@therealeatwood) August 6, 2015
Peter Parker sure made up an elaborate story to avoid telling people his dad fucked a spider
— Bea_ker (@bea_ker) August 6, 2015
I know more about Spider-Man's origin than I know about how my parents met.
— Nick Ross (@NickBossRoss) February 15, 2016
EDITOR: get me a photo of spiderman's dick
PETER PARKER: what
E: i want to know if it's weird & spidery
PP: [super defensive] it's normal
— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) August 18, 2015
[spider-man begrudgingly cleaning a skyscraper's windows as part of his court-ordered community service but his hands keep leaving smudges]
— The Pan-Midwesterner (@panmidwest) June 13, 2017
Does whatever you're singing
Sound a bit weird
Now you realise
We're not actually doing the song?
— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) April 19, 2017
"ok, Mr…Spider-Man? The good news is your cancer is treatable. But the spider bite thing? Pre-existing condition I'm afraid. $80k minimum"
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) May 7, 2017