We live in an age where everything is becoming digital, everyone is getting close online and getting further apart offline or real life as some call it, Everybody is loaded with microchips more than the Microsoft assembly line. But everyone asks themselves how much can any amount of gadgetry and techno-wizardry help me win big at the casino? and to make you rich I was in talks with the highest officials on cutting-edge gaming technology – the Apple geniuses, the ghost of Steve Jobs, Hal 5000, Tony Stark – and today we came up with the right amount of gadgets which can help you get rich.
But there is a fair warning: the following gadgets should not be used to cheat at casinos because 1) that’s illegal and 2) most of them don’t exist. After this formal line of warning, let’s proceed.
These glasses are here for a very long time, in our imagination mostly, this classic device has different, entirely respectable application…sneaking a peak at the other guy’s hand! What else you think they are for!
Poker and blackjack players are quite notorious for their love of Ray Bands, so your illegal looking eyewear isn’t likely to draw too much attention and you should act naturally in them.
Confused players and pit bosses alike with your incredible talent to spot bluffs and ‘predict’ the flop. And when you are done winning you should head to the nearest pool and try to look through walls, We are just humans!
Men in Black showed off this neat little gadget which is a portable memory wiper that can erase minutes, hours, days…even years of memory from its target, Well most of us needed for whole other reasons but stick to the topic. This tiny little gadget can really come in handy when guards catch you using “your” talent.
Or, take it out after losing on a roulette spin to wipe clean the croupier’s brain and have another go at the table. Erase and repeat until guilty and/or wealthy, whatever comes first.
This is more primitive than the other gadgets on our high tech list, this head-mounted drinks dispenser can be your best friend, trust me, it was my best friend in college.
As you might know already that many casinos support a severe ‘no drinks on the felt’ policy, but this rule can be easily bypassed by wearing a beer hat. Strap on this boozer friendly hat, stick the pipes in your mouth and let gravity do your drinking. wallah!
Now, you can enjoy the drinking during the game at the cost of looking like a bit of a plonker (a foolish or inept person).
This is the holy grail and it is a must-have for poker swindlers. Modern models can be registered to emit a discrete buzz at the sign of bluffs, or alternatively, scream ‘BULLSH*T’ at a deafening volume. The pick is yours obviously, however, you want to scare the crap out of your opponents.
Another fair warning, keep clear of bluffing yourself because this little gadget might just transmit that little piece of information to the whole table.
We all experienced this. It’s 3 AM, everything failed someone moron got lucky and went with the prettiest girl in the room, the roulette wheel came up black 690 times in a row… and now you are broke and finding a way to get out with some dignity left.
Where other people might go back to their Fiestas and drive home, you’re a different breed of the gambler: you love tech and you love modern gadgets.
Now it is the time to step into your DeLorean DMC-12, find an open road, set the counter back eight hours and accelerate to eighty-eight MPH (stay clear of highway patrol because recently they got one of ours traveling back in time) and WALLAH! It’s 7 PM, your wallet is full of cash again and now you can rinse and repeat all over again. Just keep your DeLorean well fed on the garbage because I know you are using it again tonight.