All of ‘The Avengers’ Are Insane

The Avengers opened this past weekend setting the biggest box office record in history. The superhero all-star movie took in over 200 million dollars in the first two days, which kicked the previous record set by Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows 2. Take that Limeys! U.S.A! U.S.A!

What is so appealing about a movie about a bunch of superheros teaming up to blow things up? Is it Scar-Jo in a skin tight suit? Partly, but there is more to it. Perhaps there is something in the members of The Avengers we see in ourselves. If so, that’s totally frightening. Each and every member of The Avengers is nuts. Here is a psychological profile the 5 members of The Avengers team.

The Incredible Hulk – Intermittent explosive disorder

Bruce Banner has more than just a penchant for temper tantrums. The psychological manual DSM-IV defines IED as: “several episodes of impulsive behavior that result in serious damage to either persons or property, wherein the degree of the aggressiveness is grossly disproportionate to the circumstances or provocation.” Sound familiar? In other words, you get huge, turn green, smash things, and run around in purple pants. The Avengers use The Hulk’s IED as a weapon. They encourage him to blow his top so that “Hulk Smash”. This is called enabling and it’s wrong.

Thor – God Complex

In the Marvel Universe, Thor isn’t really a god like he is in Norse mythology. He’s really just a super-powerful blond bo-hunk that gains strength and a limited immortality by eating magical apples. I could go around swinging a hammer all day and calling myself a god if I had the help of magic apples. People with a god complex feel that they are above the rules and can do whatever they want. Thor’s arrogance was so bad that his father Odin banished him from Asgard to teach him humility. Maybe this rejection by his father is why he overcompensates by playing god.

Iron Man – Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Tony Stark is the man inside the Iron Man suit and he might be the most dangerous guy on The Avengers team. He is a classic example of someone suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, also known as extreme arrogant douchebag disease. Symptoms include: “Reacting to criticism with anger, shame, and humiliation; tends to exaggerate their own importance, achievements, and talents; requires constant attention and positive reinforcement in others; obsessed with oneself; trouble keeping healthy relationships.” Yup. That’s Tony Stark. He displays every single one of these traits in the video clip below. Why is he the most dangerous? Someone who wants to rule the world and has unlimited money and resources? That’s a recipe for disaster.

Captain America – Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Steve Rogers’ problem lies along the same spectrum as anorexia, bulimia, and whatever the hell is wrong with The Situation. Rogers was a weak, skinny, runt living in the Lower East Side of NY back when it was a tough neighborhood and had less American Apparels and wine bars. He was obsessed with his weak and sickly body. All he wanted was to be ripped. This was before you could just ‘roid up and drink that protein stuff the sell at GNC to get big. So, he agrees to go through a dangerous life-threatening procedure to become America’s secret weapon against the Nazis. Much like anorexics will put their lives in danger to achieve their desired body, Rogers was also willing to die to be a “gorilla”.

Nick Fury – Antisocial Personality Disorder

Also known as a cold-blooded sociopath. Much like the rest of The Avengers, he uses his insanity for good…but he’s still a ruthless murderer. Do you think Nick Fury spends his nights thinking about all the people the members of S.H.I.E.L.D and The Avengers kill? Nope. The DSM-IV defines APD as:  “Repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest; deception, as indicated by repeatedly lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure; reckless disregard for safety of self or others; lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another”. Doesn’t that sound like that cycloptic badass?

Article By Jack Tomas
http://www.jacktomas.com >