How To Gracefully Quit Your Job

Pro Tips: How To Gracefully Quit Your Job

1. Point to yourself and say “You could’ve had this!”

How To Gracefully Quit Your Job

2. Work in a glitter bomb if you can, tastefully.

How To Gracefully Quit Your Job

3. Set up a stuffed animal at your computer and see how long it takes before someone notices you’re gone.

How To Gracefully Quit Your Job

4. Wait until a quiet moment, then pop a balloon and say “I’m out.”

How To Gracefully Quit Your Job

5. Send a mass email to everyone on staff informing them that you’re trapped inside your computer until a vindictive wizard decides otherwise.

How To Gracefully Quit Your Job

6. Crouch down on the floor and crawl away, army-style, until you’re out of the building.

How To Gracefully Quit Your Job

7. Sneak up behind your boss and whisper “I’ll never forget you.”

How To Gracefully Quit Your Job

8. Drop a ton of money at a magic store and puff-of-smoke on outta there.

How To Gracefully Quit Your Job

9. Loudly play Semisonic’s 1998 classic “Closing Time” while slowly backing away from everyone without saying a word.

How To Gracefully Quit Your Job

10. Try to get everyone to form a midday conga line. If people refuse to participate, that’s when you say “I’ve had it with your attitudes!” and hand in your two weeks notice. (In the unlikely event that you get the conga line going, lead it out of the office and then simply run away.)

How To Gracefully Quit Your Job

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