Minions Are Coming Back To The Theaters!


Minions are getting a theatrical sequel to their 2015 solo debut, Minions. Mostly people loved the yellow creatures and some not like them because of their squishy language, poor eyesight, and commitment to denim overalls distasteful, but we love them!

The following are a series of both facts and artifacts which you may find useful in your journey to minion acceptance:

  • Minions don’t age, nor do they seem to die. They’ve been in existence since prehistoric times, and they always look the same. However, they are bald.
  • Minions are loyal.
  • Minions can survive in space.
  • In 2014, the British company Oxford Nanopore Technologies released a USB-powered DNA sequencer called the MinION, which has been tested by NASA. (It’s up to you to decide if this is pure coincidence.)
  • The minions love bananas. According to this study, bananas were the most-consumed fruit in the US in 2014. Perhaps this is a sign that you also love bananas. A more persuasive person than me might call this “common ground.”
  • There are 719,000 Google search results for the phrase “minion tattoo.” There are only 468,000 Google search results for “N’sync tattoo.” Deductive reasoning would lead a logical person to conclude that minions have a more permanent standing in history than a ‘90s boy band with two No. 1 singles.
  • You can check out the translation of Minion Language here.

New movie will be released over the July Fourth weekend in 2020.

keep calm and

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